The Life.Style Edit Contributor Darlene Turner (Crush On This) gives us her simple reminders on staying authentic and what to do if you don’t feel like you fit in.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt like a puzzle piece that looks like it should “fit” but won’t snap into place. Know what I mean?
Have you ever felt the same? Like that puzzle piece that you put in the spot, it almost fits but is just not quite right. The one that you look at the edges and turn it to try and make it work and it’s so close but just doesn’t work?
I used to look at my edges and try to figure out how to fix them. How to bend them. How to [[ BE ]] the right piece for that spot. I got really good at pretending to fit. I would talk about the things everyone else was interested in. I would listen to their music and do my best to blend in with the other pieces, always knowing that my edges weren’t right for that spot.
Not once did it occur to me over those years that MY SPOT was somewhere else! I kept turning myself to try to fit in instead of picking myself up & moving on to my place. It didn’t even occur to me that there was a gap somewhere else in the bigger picture waiting to be filled with the right person. ME!
After all, we can’t all [[ BE ]] the same piece in a puzzle, can we? And yet we try, forgetting that puzzles don’t work that way, and neither do our lives.
As I got older, I started to understand and embrace my uniqueness and how to show up authentically in my truth alongside others. I learned that more of the same is not always wanted or needed. That the best puzzles have so many rich colors and details. It definitely has become easier once I owned my truth, but every once in a while I still have moments of doubt.
When those moments of “I don’t fit in here” happen, I bring myself back to these simple reminders on staying authentic that I offer to you now.
Staying Authentic -
Kindness towards myself. More often than not, when I have shared my feelings, I have realized that this really is a human condition. I am not the only one that feels this way and neither are you. You are not alone! And when you think about it, if you are the only person that truly feels alone and different, than YOU are all you have! So be kind to yourself. Beating yourself up over your uniqueness is like telling a Flamingo its legs are too long and it shouldn’t be pink! Your differences are where your beauty lies.
Don’t bend your edges or ask others to bend theirs. Notice what makes you feel unique and what makes them different. Remember asking them to be more like you is just the opposite of you trying to be more like them! Not feeling like you fit in doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with them anymore than there is anything wrong with you. It just means you each experience your world from diverse points of view, and that’s amazing! Use this opportunity to explore and learn what lights them up and makes their heart sing. And do so with an open mind. If you find that you are not in alignment with your core values, bless them and their journey, and move forward. You can have differences (and should) while still being friendly.
Embrace the truth of yourself with gratitude. I am so grateful that I have learned and accepted myself for my differences. I remind myself that ever since I have, my life has been so much richer and colorful! I no longer live in fear of being different and that allows me to show up fully in my everyday moments. I am so grateful I don’t fit in some places, I don’t think I am supposed to. The truth is I am A LOT for some people and not enough for others and so are you! To the right people, you will be perfect. Our world is full of mountains, valleys, flowers, weeds, sunshine and stars that are all vastly different. It’s crazy that any of us think we should all [[ BE ]] the same.
So I offer to you on those days when you feel alone or out of place…
Don’t BE afraid of being a different puzzle piece. BE afraid of being the same as everyone else. The puzzle will never get done if you are!
If you are going to [[ BE ]] anything:
BE feisty! BE curious. BE intelligent. BE adventurous! BE Funny. BE strong! BE brave. BE original.
#PardonMyPositivity, BE anything but the same because the puzzle needs you in your spot!
[[ BE ]] your own definition of amazing, always!
Darlene Turner is the founder of CrushOnThis.net, a women’s online boutique and blog that is all about the idea that no matter what your age, your fashion should be fun and express your personality! She knows that feeling beautiful and loving life is more of an inside-out job but also believes in the power of having a gorgeous piece of clothing to wear! When she’s not looking for new ‘Crushes’ for her collection, she likes to offer inspiration and fun throughout her business with her Monday #pardonmypositivy posts, memes, and her own brand of Crush Notes that arrive with each package!
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